From Mtv.com

Episode 16: The Kentucky Derby
It's starting to seem like la casa de Nick and Jess might be haunted by some creepy animals. First it was the attack of the bees, then the dying birds, and now it's turds, huge huge turds that must be coming from some very large animals. "Come look at this turd," Nick calls to Drew, as the guys try to decipher the poop and figure out what kind of animal could have laid a thing that large.

Meanwhile, Jessica and Casey head off to Escada to look for a girly dress for Jess to wear to the Kentucky Derby. After trying on a kazillion outfits, the winning dress is picked out and a huge pink floppy hat is chosen to top it off. The girls finish their little shopping escapade and roll over to meet Nick, Drew and his wife, Lea at a restaurant. Dinner conversation revolves around the notorious turd, and the girls get a little spooked out as they wonder how big their lurking predator could be. Later that night Nick, Jess, and Casey return to the house and Nick begins his quest to find the mysterious animal in the yard as the girls grow more creeped out imagining this scary pooper.

The next day, our newlyweds head down to Kentucky and bunk up with Tony and Lisa for the big Derby. That night, the two couples are scheduled to make their appearance at a charity event, but Jess and Lisa are running a little behind schedule. "One of our girls is dressed and one is in sweats," Tony reports to Nick. Finally, the four are dressed and ready to go. They arrive at the big event, walk the red carpet, and canoodle with some celebs before heading off to the after party at the Blue Martini. This is where the action is, and the couples do some dancin' and drinkin' and eventually head home as Tony starts yawnin'.

In the morning, it's time for the Kentucky Derby, and once again the girls seem to be having a bit of an issue getting dressed. Finally everyone leaves the house, waves a quick hello to the hordes of neighborhood kids gathered in the front yard, and arrives at the Derby. The weather looks threatening, and sure enough it starts pouring. Jessica poses for some pictures with Lisa and tries relentlessly to arrange her giant hat so it isn't in the way of the pics. Once it's clear that the race is still on, Nick decides it's time to bet some money and tries to make Jessica happy by betting on her choice, Smarty Jones. Jess hopes that Nick will bet 500 dollars on Smarty, but Nick doesn't believe this horse is going to win so he only bets 15. Sure enough, Smarty wins and Nick feels more than a little stupid as he realizes he shoulda listened to Jess. "You're my smarty Jones," Nick tells Jess; "I'm smart, that's why I chose him," replies Jess.

The couple returns to L.A. and discovers more turds hidden in their lawn. They quickly find an exterminator to deal with their little problem, and can only hope that will be the end of the turds. They're out of luck however, and discover another piece of poop the next day. Realizing it's back to square one, Nick and Jess wonder what they should do next.


Episode 17: Nick and Joe
With all the stress of their glamorous lives in the Hollywood hills, it seems like our Newlyweds may be ready for a vacation. "Jess, lets go!" yells Nick as he tries to get Jess outta the house. These two, Casey, Joe (Jess's Dad), Ashlee, and the rest of their entourage are headed out to Cabo San Lucas for a little r&r while Jess goes on a cover shoot for Elle, her favorite magazine.

They arrive and are stunned by how beautiful their vacation destination is--crystal clear water, a hot sun, and exotic plants and animals all around. Jess's cover shoot is on a closed set, so Nick and Joe have to find something to do for the day. Nick wants to go ATV riding and Joe decides to come along in lieu of Casey's warning that ATV riding is dangerous enough to kill them. Nick and Joe are excited for their little excursion, and are hoping to use this vacation to make up for lost time in an attempt to get to know each other better. After a little trouble getting their ATVs started, the guys are ready to rock n' roll, and drive out to the sandy course. Joe loves his ATV, and after initially saying he was going to take it slow, he is now zooming all over the place, and even getting to the top of the hills Nick can't make it up.

That night everyone heads out to eat at a nice restaurant, where the dinner conversation revolves around rodents and wood...hmmmm. "Is a woodchuck a squirrel? Then what's a beaver?" No one can seem to follow Jessica's train of thought, especially after she starts insisting that acorns must be made out of wood because they aren't edible, and the Eskimos used beavers as snow shoes. The conversation is a little over our heads, "I'm so confused," says Casey. Nick and Joe continue the hope that their relationship will grow with this vacation. They decide to go golfing, but to Nick's frustration, Joe seems to have his cell phone attached to his ear. Then when Joe finally hangs up, Nick gets on the phone, and by the end of the green, the guys have barely had any time to chat.

Meanwhile, the girls are all lying out by the pool sunning themselves and chatting about Jess's photo shoot where the clothing was all beautiful Ralph Lauren pieces. Joe and Nick come back to meet the girls by the pool, and soon it is time for dinner. This time, the dinner talk has to do with the oysters Casey ordered, and whether they make you aroused as Jess is convinced they do. Arousal turns to talk of Justin Timberlake, "Every girl in the club wants to be with him" says Jess, and Nick looks a little pissed off at where this conversation is going.

In the morning, it's a new day and time for a new adventure for Nick and Joe. The boys are booked to go fishing with their friends on an amazing boat, and after heading out to sea, manage to catch a giant 140 pound Marlin. Nick reels in this mother fish, but is disappointed when their instructor cuts it free before the guys get to have a good look at it. Later, Jessica comes on board, thinking she's in for a nice relaxing cruse, but when the boat takes off and the wind starts to blow, she realizes she might be overboard in a few minutes. Jess finally finds her footing, and gets to talk to Nick alone for a few minutes of peace, "How was it with my dad?" she asks. Nick thinks for a few minutes, "It was cool" he says. Looks like this was another awesome vacation for our favorite newlyweds.


Episode 18: The Traveling Newlyweds
Another glimpse into the life of the most famous pair of Newlyweds starts off with Nick, Jessica and Casey sitting around and discussing their plans for the next few days. Jess and Casey are set to jump from plane to plane all across America, while Nick and Drew head to Fiji for the Kelly Slater Surf Invitational.

The next day, it's departure time. Jess's bodyguard sits on the stairs waiting and waiting as Jessica and Casey do some last minute packing. They finally get on their way just as Nick and Drew arrive in Fiji. The two guys are greeted by some local tribesman whose parents were cannibals, and lucky them, they will be their tour guides. Nick and Drew are unfazed as they joke that they are going to have a romantic time together as they stare into the beautifully romantic sunset.

While Nick and Drew might be gazing into each other's eyes, or possibly whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears, Jess and Casey are working hard. Straight off a plane from New York, Jess arrives at QVC to promote her makeup line "Dessert." Jess's beloved products sold like brownies at a bake sale, pulling in half a million dollars in just 15 minutes.

Back on Fiji Island, Nick and Drew are taking a little helicopter tour. They drop in to meet up with another tour guide so they can go white water rafting. While the boys are kickin' it leisurely, Jess and Casey are getting ready for a performance. It turns out Jessica has to sing for an hour, but doesn't have an hours worth of material… oops! She makes up on time by working the crowd, and picking one lucky male fan to serenade on stage - so long as he promises not to touch her butt or anything. In true Jess style, mid-song, she stops and tells her fan through the microphone, "Sorry if my breath stinks!" Oh, Jessica.

Still on the raft in beautiful, exotic Fiji, Nick and Drew are getting a little culinary lesson about the region. A diet of fruitbats, big frogs with big eyes, horses or dogs doesn't sound too appealing to the guys, but then again neither do people!! It turns out that the Fijians embraced the first missionary to ever come to the island by cooking him up for a little feast. Nick and Drew seem slightly appalled, and to their further dismay, they find out that this was only about 10 years ago. But they shake it off, because they have bigger predators to worry about: Sharks. Nick seems a little concerned about surfing because of the sharks, and won't even take the surf teacher's advice that "the shark is your friend - they are only interested in fish." What could be so unsettling about a "blasé attitude" about sharks? You got me, but Nick expresses his skepticism to Drew.

After her show in San Diego, Jess is off to her video shoot for the song "Angels." They are prepping to shoot a scene where white homing pigeons will be flying behind Jess as she sings. It would be a good idea if Jess didn't hate birds, but it goes over surprisingly well nonetheless.

Back in Fiji, the guys are shopping for male sarongs based on the maxim, "when in Fiji, do as the Fijians do." Getting ready to accept their invitation to have dinner with the Prime Minister, the boys are getting a little crash course in Fijian customs. Meanwhile, Jess has a 'Janet Jackson moment' on the set of her video while singing with an orchestra backing her. The orchestra gets quite a show as Casey steps in to fix the 'wardrobe malfunction.'

On the island, Nick is partaking in the Celebrity Challenge part of the Kelly Slater Invitational. Going against Tony Hawk, among others, Nick shows off his forte for wiping out. Drew watches on in disappointment as Nick falls off of his surf board like it's his job. Finally, when all hope is just about lost, Nick gets a great ride -watch out pro's!

The girls have returned home, just as wiped out as Nick on a surf board. They struggle to carry their suitcases up the stairs. Nick and Drew are getting ready to leave Fiji, the same place where Nick and Jess went on their honeymoon. Nick compares his two experiences on the island, sarcastically claiming that sleeping next to Drew was more romantic. As a montage of brotherly love trails off and fades to black, another chapter in the Lachey and Simpson legacy is closed.


Episode 19: Nick's Lawn
Another glimpse into the life of Newlyweds starts off with Jessica and Casey trying to successfully kill a spider. After screaming and pointing at it, Casey finally kills it with her shoe. Nick looks on in disbelief as Casey shoves the flattened spider in Jessica's face. After the spider is disposed of, Jessica continues packing for her trip to Florida, while Nick and Drew work on the best way to put grass on Nick's desert like lawn.

The Newlyweds have a beautiful home but a terrible lawn. When Nick looks out his window he sees dirt and weeds and it drives him nuts. So Nick and Drew decide the first order of business is to get some professional advice on how to handle the lawn. That afternoon a specialist from Lowe's comes to the house to check out the situation. After a very lengthy explanation it becomes clear to Nick that if he wants to put sod down it is going to be a very involved adventure. Nick thanks the Lowe's rep and decides to think about it. Over a game of pool Nick and Drew decided that they should go for it and see if they take care of the job themselves.

As Jessica is busy in Florida shopping at Prada with Casey, Nick and Drew are busy at Lowe's spending a ridiculous amount of money on lawn products and sod. The boys feel positive about their purchases and soon head home to start to process of laying down a brand new lawn. About an hour into it Nick looks at Drew and tells him it's time to hire some guys to help out. The boys head in and call some contracting companies. An hour later four guys show up to help the brothers out. Unfortunately they are not the most hardworking fellows around. They seemed to be better at smoking and eating than doing any actual work. Finally the sun starts to go down and the guys wrap up the first part of the job. As Nick looks upon his newly tilled lawn he thinks about $4,000 worth of sod in his garage waiting to be laid down the next day. In the morning he calls a professional landscaping company and by the end of the weekend he has a brand new lawn fit for a king. As Nick looks over the green grass he talks about how much easier it is to just hire professional than do a job like this yourself. It's just another day at Newlyweds palace.


Episode 20: The Newlyweds
Jessica has lunch with her two favorite girls, Casey and Lea, and discusses that last minute chores she must finish before she heads out to start her tour. The time has finally come. Jessica Simpson will have her very own national tour and it's gonna start in New Orleans. There is much preparation to do and Jessica isn't feeling well so the next couple days are gonna be hard but worth the work. After lunch Lea and Jess head to the studio to practice some of the dance moves Jess will be doing on stage. Jess doesn't pick them up quickly and yawns her way through the rehearsal. Finally the girls quit and head home to finish some last minute packing before Jess heads to the airport.

Meanwhile Nick and Drew have headed out to Dodgers stadium to play a little ball with the big boys. As Nick emerges out of the dressing room in full uniform he comments that this is every little boy's fantasy growing up. Drew gives him a hard time about the bright orange socks but it doesn't stop Nick from trying out his swing on the field. As Nick swings away at batting practice Jess piles her bags into a car and starts her trip to New Orleans.

At rehearsal Jess's glands are swollen and she is apprehensive about singing so she runs through the elusive dance steps with Casey and finishes up her sound check. Nick and Drew finally arrive in New Orleans only to find the girls coddling Jess as she complains about her swollen glands and the exhaustion the last couple days have left her in. She hopes a cortisone shot will help her feel better, especially considering the show is that night.

Finally the time comes for Jess to pull herself together and deliver a great show to her adoring fans. As she stands back stage waiting for her big entrance the cortisone shot kicks in and Jess is ready to go. The show is a success and Jess ends her first night out on the national tour thanking her fans and telling them how much she loves them.

After the show Nick and Jess get into a private jet and head to Texas. On the way Nick tells Jess they are taking a little detour. Instead of going straight to the next city he takes her to the town where they got married. The couple is picked up in the car that they rode in on their wedding night, they stay in the room where the spent their first night as husband and wife and they visit the church where they said their vows. After a tour down memory lane Nick takes Jess to a romantic dinner and wishes her a wonderful tour. As the evening comes to a close so does the final episode of Newlyweds.