From Mtv.com

Episode 1:
"With this ring, I thee wed!" Ahh, the joys of marriage. This first episode introduces us to newlyweds Nick and Jessica. The dynamic duo dated for three years, split up for five months, then rekindled the relationship realizing that they were meant for each other. So all is well in the wonderful world of marriage, but will it stay this way?

Moving in together forces Nick and Jessica to find out things they never knew about each other. For example, Nick is a neat freak who seems preoccupied with sports. Jessica has more important things to do than watch sports, however. While checking out the game, she ponders what "Chicken of the Sea really is?" She asks Nick, "Is this chicken what I have, or is it fish?" Man, who knew being married would be so confusing!? After Nick explains that her chicken was, in fact, tuna, Jessica worries that everyone will make fun of her. Don't worry Jessica, we all get confused with that whole tuna thing.

Problems arise in the newlywed house as Nick realizes that his beautiful bride is a complete slob. Jessica admits that she may be a bit spoiled. Well, having been waited on hand and foot since the age of 14, who wouldn't be? Jessica compares her childhood with Nick's in that, "Nick grew up doing laundry since the third grade and washing dishes his whole life." Nonetheless, the time has come for Jessica to learn how to clean up after herself. Where to begin? While on the phone with a friend, Jess asks, "Isn't there a maid for celebrities?" In the meantime, she has to make an attempt at cleaning, so she dumps all of her dirty clothes into the foyer…where they will continue to sit for a few weeks. Trying to avoid the impending doom of her laundry clothes waiting to be washed, Jessica goes grocery shopping and cleans out the fridge. She admits that, "I'm not good at this whole housewife thing."

Now that his bachelor pad days are over, Nick recruits his brother Drew to help move all of his belongings into the new house. Being the perfectionist that he is, Nick refuses to hire a mover. This could be something he may regret later. Moving all day can stress a man out, and especially when your wife doesn't help you at all. A frustrated Nick whispers to his brother, "It's these moments I'm glad I don't have a gun. I'd shoot myself!" Drew responds, "Why would you shoot yourself!?"

Nick finally gives into Jessica's pleas to have a maid come help. They hire one and give her the grand tour of the newlywed crib. A little overwhelmed, or maybe even confused, the maid can't name her price. So Nick ends up giving her 20 bucks an hour. For not being a "celebrity maid," that sure seems like the price of one! Maybe she can teach Jessica a few things about cleaning up after herself. Seeing a clean house inspires Jessica and she realizes that learning to clean up will keep her and Nick "normal and humble."


Episode 2:
This episode tests the trust level between Nick and Jessica. When Nick decides he needs some "sexy" women for his new video and live show, his old lady gets a little jealous. Jessica says that she trusts her hubby, "but I just don't trust the girls!" She claims it to be a natural jealousy. "People just adore him!" Are we in middle school here, Jessica? He's got the ring on the finger, so no worries. Still, Jessica feels the need to make a pit stop at Nick's auditions to keep an eye on those dancers. "All right hoochie mamas, bring it on!" She's just worried about the things some of these girls will do to get the job.

After keeping a watchful gaze on Nick's roaming eyes, Jessica decides that she, too, wants to be more "sexy" for her newlywed. She decides to buy a couple pairs of sexy lingerie, but what she didn't realize is that she dropped $750 bucks on those undies. Must be some really sexy lingerie, Jessica. Maybe you should look at the tag next time. Nick's reasoning seems to be the most logical, "Why you would spend that much on something that's coming off anyway!"

As the tension between Nick's dancers and Jessica escalates, Nick gets frustrated at his failed attempt to keep "business out of his personal life." Unfortunately, when Jessica Simpson is your wife, it's all related. Nick and Jessica plan a performance for the troops at the USO show in Hollywood. It's been three years since these two lovebirds have performed together. Jessica frets because she feels her show isn't "cool." It's simple Jess, just get some hot dancers like Nick, and they'll love ya!

While waiting in the hotel, Nick goes next door to check on his dancers. Need some help with that bra, girls? In his absence, Jessica has a heart-to-heart with her parents. She admits that if Nick were to cheat on him, she'd shoot his d*** off! Better watch out Nick!

Time to perform for those troops! In an effort to make her show "cooler," Jessica takes a soldier on stage and sings to him. We all know you really brought that soldier up to make Nick jealous, Jessica! As the saga ends, the newlyweds' performance turns out to be a success, and Nick reassures Jess that she is the only one for him.


Episode 3:
On this episode of the Newlyweds, Nick is determined to broaden Jessica's horizons by taking her on a camping trip. Yes, this newlywed couple is off to the mountain for some driving, camping and hiking adventures. Jessica is all for it until Nick mutters one little word, bears! Nick was just trying to explain the concept of a bear bin…but all Jessica could ask was, "There really are bears?" Yes, Jess, there really are bears.

Jessica and Drew's wife Lea discuss what they will need for this camping trip. It is mutual, magazines and trashy novels are a must. As the guys pack up the truck, the girls can't help but wonder what they have gotten themselves into.

After many hours on the road, the guys finally get Jessica and Lea to the campground. First things first, it is time to pitch the tents. Another part of the camping experience that the ladies did not count on and therefore will not be a part of. Nick and Drew don't seem to mind, all they need is beer to help get them motivated. After scrutinizing the instructions and finally getting the tents up, the guys get ready to build the fire. Wood, matches, food, and beer equals a nice evening with these two couples.

The next morning, the couples get ready to go on a hiking trip. Unfortunately, they do not get as far as they had hoped. The hiking trails are long and the girls are not enthusiastic. "I'm tired right now." Jessica says. "Maybe today is a drive-around day and tomorrow is a hike day."

Back at the campsite the girls complain and complain and complain some more. The only thing that seems to calm Jessica is the presence of her Louis Vuitton bag. "I take my bag every where I go, every single place I go." Jessica says. "You know it's my pet, 'pet Louie.' I don't know is that weird, taking my Louie Vuitton bag camping?" Well, yes, it is a bit weird Jess, but we can't hold it against you.

On their last morning at the campsite, the guys take down the tents and pack away all the food and the girls, well, they just hang out. Jessica asks Nick to do every little thing for her and when Drew points that out Nick explains, "I have a five year plan to rid her of her spoiled-ness." Good luck with that Nick. Good luck. And at the end of the day how does Jessica feel about their camping adventure? All she can say is, "I don't think I will be camping for a long while. Next time we are going to Hawaii."


Episode 4:
On this episode of the Newlyweds, Nick is scheduled to go to the Playboy mansion for an interview and a Spike TV party. Nick doesn't tell Jessica that he is planning on going but she eventually finds out and is she not pleased. "I don't really like the fact that you're going to be going to the Playboy mansion. I mean, why would I be excited about that?" Nick is left in the Jacuzzi, by himself, to reflect. Will he choose to make his wife happy and stay home or will he party like a rock star with hot half-naked chicks? I wonder...

In Nick's defense, he does try to get out of the event to make Jessica happy but with a little push from his publicist, Nick is convinced it would good for his career to go. Don't worry Jess, Drew will be there to keep an eye on him.

After Jess gets back in town, Nick plans a day of golfing so they can blow off some steam together. He invites Drew and Lea and the two couples head out for a day of fun on the fairway. Before they get to golfing, they stop at the pro shop to pick up some golfing paraphernalia. Jess, who knows nothing about golfing, gets a golf glove. When some fellow golfers are caught staring at the famous couple Jessica remarks, "We're being stared at. Is it because my glove is so spiffy?"

Once the couples hit the course the real fun begins. Nick tries to give Jessica some tips on how to properly stand and hit the ball. Jessica gives it a good shot but isn't what you would call a natural. Her boobs get in the way, her hands hurt, and after only a couple minutes she's "sick of it." There is only one thing that will bring this diva into the golfing mood and that's driving the cart. And drive the cart she will. (Cut to montage of Jessica causing a ruckus on the golf cart. She's driving on greens, almost hitting other carts, and she is way over the speed limit. It's madness, sheer madness.)

On their way out of the clubhouse one of the instructors offers his card in case anyone wants to take lessons. It's a nice gesture but it's hard to believe Jessica will be back out on the course any time soon. But they all did do something together and that's what's important. "Wasn't that an adventure?" Yes, it was Jess, yes it was.


Episode 5:
It's all about respect, relief and reckless guys on senior scooters. From the roller coaster of celebrity to the thrills of the amusement park, Nick and Jessica strap themselves in for a wild ride.

The newlyweds are battling their respective record labels--Nick about the choice of his next single and Jessica over how to sing hers. Time off with friends, just outside of Cincinnati, helps relieve some of the pressures. The pair lets loose at the same amusement park where Nick--lady-killer in training--used to serenade the honeys. They brave the Flight of Fear together and Jessica shows her skills at the basketball toss (not!). Later, Jessica struggles with the word platypus…or is it platamupus? (I dunno, ask Jessica).

Still feeling a bit of excess tension, though, Jessica goes for a run with Nick's sister-in-law, Lea. Later, Nick tussles with the lackeys at the label and wins his battle to issue the single of his choice--"Shut Up!" One victory secured, it's time to paartay and the couple and their crew head to Cincinnati for some clubbing. Nick and Jessica grind it on the dance floor and Nick raises a glass (or two or ten) in celebration.

The morning after. Nick displays his beer tan and Jessica her record-breaking trucker belch. Over greasy fast food, Jessica contemplates the possibility of puking on her "new" grandpa and then needs to "drop some kids into the pool." (Hint: these kids are a bit stinky and the pool is the kind you flush). Cut to the Twin Towers Retirement Community and Nick and Drew, rehearsing the song they'll sing at their grandma's wedding to fiancé Walt. Much to the enjoyment of Jessica and Lea, Nick struggles to remember the words to a song he wrote.

At the ceremony, the sound guy struggles with the P.A., but Nick and Drew manage to deliver a tear-jerking performance anyway. Jessica cuts the cake, while Nick cautions grandma and Walt to be careful driving home.

All's well that ends well as Nick lovingly coaches Jessica through a challenging vocal session at the recording studio. Awwww!